Describing Lola

Me: Of course I could just post a picture.
The Man: Not that men wouldn't swoon, but it would ruin the mystique.






So Free To Be wants to know what I look like. I thought about asking a few of the people who have actually seen me to guest post but that's like fishing for compliments or asking to have your heart ripped out. This is truly hard for me. Sure I can write bitchy stuff about my co-workers. I easily write sad ass shit about The Boy. I'm good at talking about drunken antics. But when it comes to describing myself I'm at a loss.

I'll go with the basics. I'm 5'4ish maybe 5'5". When Free To Be first asked what I look like I had chocolate brown hair. It is now a lovely shade of auburn and goes to the middle of my back. My hair has been brown, red, blonde, black, and pink. I'm pretty sure my natural shade is a reddish color. I have very brown eyes which I used to hate. I have freckles and fair skin except in the summer when I first turn lobster red then a lovely shade of brown. My skin is the softest skin ever. I love it so much I pet myself sometimes. I have a beauty mark above my lip. My smile is my best feature in my humble opinion. I am not skinny. I will never be skinny. I am not obese but I could stand to lose a few pounds. I have big boobs and one of them is bigger than the other. I'd say I'm cute on a good day. I am not a hot girl.

Now let's break it down into things I have heard.

Height:
"Damn you are short."
"How did you get taller than the rest of the women in the family?"
"Aren't you just the cutest little thing." (Said by a guy who was 6'6".)

Hair:
"How many different colors are you gonna try before you stick with one?"
"For fuck's sake grow that shit back out so I can see how shiny it is."
"You hair is so soft." (Said by a girl)

Eyes:
"You can get lost in those eyes."
"Those are the darkest eyes I've ever seen."
"Somehow I think you would look better with green eyes. Ever think of getting contacts?"

Smile:
"You look so much better when you smile."
"You never had to have braces? You suck."
"Nice lips."

Weight:
"You are soft in all the right places."
"I like my girls a little bit skinnier. No offense."

Boobs:
"Nice rack."
"You could be a stripper with those babies."
"I'm not a fan of big ta-tas. More than a mouthful is just wasteful."

If any of you who have actually seen me have anything to add please feel free to let loose. I won't be posting again for a while because of work. The offer still stands to email me about something you would like to hear about. If not, take care til I return.