Daisies Make Me Crazy

What is it about flowers that turn everyone crazy? Yesterday I received flowers at work. I ran around acting like a fool. I was giggling and blushing and screaming. The flowers were in a basket. I started skipping around like Little Red Riding Hood. I had a silly ass crooked grin on my face. I looked retarded but happy.

The first thing that happens when you get flowers at work is you get bombarded with questions. You really get asked a lot of questions if everyone knows you are single. I listened to every single question and just smiled. I hid the card so know one could read it. Gotta maintain some mystery.

The second thing that happens is jealousy. The other women are jealous. The receiver of the flowers becomes the center of attention and the center of envy. It's fucking fabulous! Especially if you are someone like me who thrives on being the center of attention.

People start saying "I'm so happy for you." Why are flowers such a big deal? Men start to ask about "your dude". Who said a "dude" sent them? Your best friend gets mad because she didn't know about any guy. You know she is really mad because she didn't get any flowers. You laugh inside like the evil bitch you are. Jesus Freak Boss freaks out because if Lola has a boyfriend (which I don't) she might not be such a workaholic.

Flowers make people crazy. It's a wonderful thing.