Bad Start To The Wedding Extravaganza Weekend

So I have to go to a wedding tomorrow night. I am related to the groom. The bride thinks she is fucking Princess Diana or possibly Princess Grace. The bride's mother is called Mimi. That is not her given name but it was what everyone calls her. That should tell you something right there. This is going to be a big old Southern Belle wedding. The color of the wedding is pink. Not pink and something, just pink. I keep picturing "Steel Magnolias." They have thrown 10 showers for this wedding. TEN! Jesus Christ, southern women can be pretentious.

Last night I went out for sushi and drinks with an old friend who was in from Louisiana. We happened to see the Youngun out. He invited us to a party. We went. He failed to inform us it was a fraternity party. I spent the evening shotgunning PBR (that's Pabst Blue Ribbon for you novices). I must have thought I was 21 and still in college. I'm a dumbass. Now I am hungover and have to go to the bridesmaid luncheon. My entire family is also coming into town and staying at my house. I'm pretty sure sometime today I'm going to puke. I also don't have a date for the wedding. I'm no longer speaking to my backup date. I'll be the old maid without a date and everyone will discuss whether it's possible I play for the other team. Fuck it. I'm gonna stay loaded all weekend. Wish me luck.