Drunkity, Drunk, Drunk, Drunk

I'm drunk. I will not lie about it. I'm a lightweight. I started drinking WAY to early (is it ever to early?) and have been forced to come home. I can't fucking hold my liquor anymore. It's very sad. I'm pretty sure it's because I'm still not completely well. Of course, maybe I've just gotten old. So here are some thoughts that were racing through my head as I sat in the back of the car (trying not to puke)that drove me home. And some other thoughts I've had since I've been home and continued to sip.

It sucks ass that I have to go to a wedding soon. A family member's wedding. A family member that is 10 years younger than me. And I don't have a date. Fuck that! I'm not going.

My friend "Jason" is a fucking douche. I told him he was a douche. He doesn't understand why. Fuck the scruffy man from Detroit he got me as a birthday present. "Jason" is a douche. He is never getting any. EVER!

I convinced Jesus Freak Boss I was pregnant. It was an excellent April Fool's Day joke. What if I really get pregnant now? It would be fucking karma. I would deserve it.

These shoes are the greatest shoes ever. They look great with these panties. To fucking bad I don't have a man. Maybe if I went out in these shoes and these panties and nothing else, I would get a man.

I think I'm oddly attracted to 50 Cent. This scares the shit out of me.

It is weird that I drink vodka and sweet tea.

I miss someone. And it isn't who you think it is. It sucks. My heart hurts a little.

I think the Pope died a few days ago and they just didn't tell us.

Geraldo Rivera should be shot.

It's a bad idea to listen to Jeff Buckley and Ryan Adams when you are drunk.

It's a worse idea to try to watch "Closer" in the condition I am in.

I should have stayed out till I puked.

This blog entry sucks. But fuck it.