God, I'm A Bitch

Ring, ring
"Lola's house of pain... How may I help you."

"Did you fucking drunk dial The Boy?"

"Hey! How are you? I'm great, thanks for asking."

"Who did you call?"

"It doesn't matter who I drunk dialed. It's inconsequential."

"It better not have been The Boy."

"Forget the fucking drunk dialing. SHIT! Did you call for some other reason besides to hammer me about drunk dialing?"

"Yeah. Lloyd fucking Dobler? You have got to be shittin' me."

"Um... No I am definitely not shitting you. I shit you not."

"I was never a fucking Joe."

"I think you were. My friends agree. Or at least Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club."

"You didn't even like me that much. You were insane over that soccer player."

"That is untrue. I wasn't insane, just lustful."

"Married Former Slut's brain is fried from her life as a former X addict. She's a shallow whore."

"She might be a little spacey and she did use to be loose but you can always count on her to say what she thinks."

"Lloyd fucking Dobler!"

"That's what I think."

"You are fucking wrong."

"So you don't want to be Joe or Lloyd? Who do you wanna be?"

"Why do you have to put everything in that god damn blog?"

"Because I'm self centered and I crave attention."

"Seriously Lola, it is gonna fuck you up someday."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"It fucking sucks."

"No, you fucking suck. Just admit you want me and we can clear the air here and move on."
CLICK

Well that was REAL productive.