Actual Phone Call

"Hey Lola, I can't come to work today. My nipples hurt."

"Excuse me?!?"

"I really don't feel up to coming to work. My nipples hurt."

"Well then by all means stay home."

"Thanks." Click.

This was an honest to God phone call I received at 9:30 on Monday morning from "Hollie". What the fuck is wrong with these people? First the stupid bitch goes and gets both nipples pierced. Then she calls me and says she can't come to work because of it. I mean, come on, at least lie. Say you are sick. Your grandma died. Something other than your self inflicted mutilation has made you unable to come to work. And even worse, she thought I was being nice when I told her to stay home. I have to move to a deserted island. NOW!!! I'm surrounded by totally fucktarded people.