My Favorite Part of The Holidays

As I've said before I like to spend a lot of time alone. I work in a job that requires me to be happy and upbeat for most of the day. By the time the work day is done I am all happied out. When I am done at work I do not want to carry on cutesy conversation. I do not want to have to smile across the table at Uncle George and Aunt Ida. I do not want to answer the questions about when I'm going to settle down and if I have a special fella. I'm pretty sure my family may even think I'm lesbian. More power to 'em.

I hate the smell of Christmas trees. They make me tingly. Which brings back bad memories. I hate the fact that I have to listen to Christmas tunes in the middle of Walgreens while waiting on my prescriptions. I'm not Jewish but I hate the fact that you never hear Jewish holiday songs. We should all be tormented.

I hate looking at the 50 billion Christmas lights people put up the day after Thanksgiving. I hate all the fake Christmas cheer. I hate that people try to be nicer around the holidays. Fuck it. If you are mean then be mean 24/7, 365 days a year. Don't try to change your colors just for some fucking holiday cheer.

But I do have a favorite part of the holidays. One small thing that gets me through. It is the beauty of my all time favorite Rankin and Bass Christmas show, The Year Without A Santa Claus. And no it's not those scary stop action puppets are whatever they are. I can't wait every year just so I can hear my favorite song of all time. The song that puts the Christmas season in perfect perspective for me. It says everything I feel about the holidays. I want to be Mrs. Heat Miser.


The Heat Miser Song
I'm Mister Green Christmas
I'm Mister Sun
I'm Mister Heat Blister
I'm Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!

He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One

They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
He's too much!
Thank you!

I never want to see a day
That's under sixty degrees
I'd rather have it eighty,
Ninety, one hundred degrees!

(spoken)
Oh, some like it hot, but I like it
REALLY hot! Hee hee!

He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
Sing it!
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One

They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!
Too Much!