Please Stomp Me

As I sit here writing today's entry I have to think to myself that there must be something I'm doing to attract these nut jobs. Of course, if you are a woman and spend any amount of time on the internet you eventually get hit on by some nuts. Especially if you have a slightly flirtatious smart ass profile. So I guess I'm asking for it.

Now my profile says something along the lines of me being detached and destructive. That doesn't mean I want to practice S & M. About eight months ago an IM popped up on my screen late at night. The gist of it was this guy wanted me to step on his balls. I was certain I misunderstood him. Of course, I am the curious sort so I started a dialogue with him. And yes, he actually wanted me to step on his balls. Stomp on them to be more exact. I told him that I wasn't that type of girl. Really I'm not.

Ever few months this guy will IM me. He begs me to stomp on his balls. He tells me the new ways he has found of torturing himself. He props his balls up on toothpicks and drops a book on himself. He has put hand weights on his balls. He drops things on them all the time. He wants me to tie him up so he can't get away and stomp on him. I can't stop reading. It's like a fucking train wreck. I have to look. I have to read. He tells me I'm a bitch for not stomping on his balls. Like making mad is going to make me run out and meet this sick freak. I'm all about sexual freedom. Do your own thing. Really. But please do not ask me to stomp on your balls.

I know you are thinking to yourself I shouldn't read the IM's. I should block him. I really want to but I am just fascinated by it. First that he thinks if he waits a few months and asks me again I am suddenly going to agree. Second that he is finding ways to hurt his balls. I don't have any but aren't those things delicate? I was always told not to hit a guy in the balls unless I meant it. Did someone teach me wrong? Am I supposed to be hurting the nuts to get a rise so to speak? Is this some sort of hot sex I am missing? I think not. This guy is a fucking freak.

The other night I received this email:
yesterday was my birthday please stomp me

That's all it said. I didn't reply. For once I couldn't think of a bitchy reply. Stomping of the balls is just not one even Lola knows how to deal with.