Drinking + Boys = Insanity

I had to go into work yesterday. I was completely pissed off. From August to May I work six days a week most weeks. Sometimes I work seven. It's ok. Remember, for the most part, I love my job (even though I don't like all the people) so I don't mind working that many days a week. However for the months of June and July I was promised to be off by noon on Fridays and not have to reappear until Monday. Now I only had to go in for an hour but it's the principal of the thing. Or maybe I'm just a bratty bitch. The point is I needed a distraction.

So the cell phone rings while I'm at work . It's my friend "Tara". She invites me to a barbecue/pool party. She says "Run home and get your suit and meet us at "Jason's" parents." I explain to her that things are weird between "J" and I. She has very good powers of persuasion though. "Sam", her husband, is bringing a bunch of guys from the law firm. Cute guys. What we call prospectives. She also informs me she won't take no for an answer. "Go home and get your suit now!" Well, the thing is, I always have a towel and a suit in my car in case the opportunity to swim, go to the lake, run through a sprinkler, or work on my tan presents itself.

Before I left work I called "Jason" to see if it was ok. He said he told "Tara" to call me because he figured I just might come. He says the only reason he wants me to come is so he can see if I'm as badly disfigured as I've claimed to be since the infamous strip club wreck. I realize things might just be ok between us. He also tells me S.C. is going to be there. I HAVE TO GO NOW!

The parentals are on a month long cruise so the house is ours. Now I know I'm too old to be excited about having parents be out of town but if you saw this house you would act like you were sixteen again too. "Jason" grew up in a huge house. His mom used to give private scuba lessons in the pool in their backyard. You can imagine how big the pool is. It's something like fifteen feet deep in the deep end. When we were younger we used to jump off the roof into the pool. None of us have done that in a long time.

One of the lawyers asked if anyone had ever been hurt jumping off the roof. This leads to some stupid, stuffy ass monologue about lawsuits, personal injury, and the roof jumping. I of course go off on a diatribe about everyone being lawsuit happy. Somehow between the alcohol and the argument, I decide I'm gonna jump off the roof. Personal injury be damned!

The way the house is built you have to clear a lower roof, a good distance of concrete, and the shallow end to land safely in the deep end. Everyone is totally against even starting the roof jumping. Except for the the cute boy who has been pretty damn quiet all day. He thinks I should do it but bets I won't. I decide I'm going to fucking impress the quiet boy.

I run in the house and sprint out on the roof. Fuck, I forgot how high up it was. I know if I think about it too much I won't do it. I peer over the edge of the roof at everyone staring up at me. "Tara" screams out "You are a golden god." I took one last gulp of Tanqueray I was drinking and just ran. Flying through the air was the most free I've felt in a long time. Hitting the water, however, was a not so much fun. I still ended up roof jumping about fifty more times yesterday. It was incredible. It was also incredibly stupid when I look back on it today.

Everyone ended up doing it except for Stuffy Lawyer Guy and S.C. Stuffy Lawyer Guy kept offering to be the lawyer for anyone who got hurt. S.C. didn't want to get her hair wet. Before the day was over I convinced Quiet Boy to accidentally bump into her so she fell in. I'm such an evil bitch. I so totally love myself sometimes.