Dying Dreams

I am sick. Fuck. I hate being sick. I am the biggest baby known to man when I am sick. I have a fever and because of that fever I'm sure I had this weird dream last night.

I was talking to someone I do not know. Spilling my life secrets. We were at a hole in the wall bar listening to this band. The odd thing is this band broke up 3 or more years ago. The boy I was with kept giving me this to drink. He was stroking my hair and saying, "It's ok you can tell me anything." I felt so warm and comfortable I was telling him anything he wanted to know.

The band finished playing and the lead singer came to collect me. He and the boy I did not know had words. I couldn't figure out why the lead singer was trying to collect me nor why he was mad. I figured it was because I was drunk. I just stood there laughing at them for arguing which seemed to make each of them angrier. Finally, after much drama, we all three left together.

Outside the bar, I realized I couldn't hold onto the babies. Don't ask me where the babies came from because I don't fucking know. I was holding a baby in each arm and they kept slipping. (By the way, these two fucking kids have been in my dreams before.) I kept asking for help with the babies but the singer and the boy I did not know just looked at me with disdain. I wanted to cry.

The singer, the boy I did not know, myself, and the babies all got into a car. I kept asking where we were going. No one would tell me. Eventually we pulled up in front of a big house and I was told to get out and go inside. Neither man helped me with the babies. When I got in the house The Boy was having a dinner party. The guests were all men. All men I had dated. I stood there quite baffled and then I dropped the babies. Then I woke up.

There was some other stuff that went on in the dream but this is the basic dream as I remember. It has seriously fucked with my head. Of course that may just be the illness. I have decided to lie here all day and listen to this album over and over and ponder what the fuck is wrong with me. Physically, mentally, and possibly spiritually.



#5 Mississippi Parking Lot

Or if you don't feel like dying like I do here is another choice.

#4 August In Arizona