The Evils Of Ciroc And Cigarettes

It is extremely cold where I live. Not as cold as other places right now but too cold for a sun lover such as myself. I refused to go out last night. Too cold and no cute outfit. I decided to stay home, drink some Ice Picks, have a hot bath, and watch movies. "The Boys" tried very hard to entice me to go out. They were going to play pool and wanted me along to play wingman. I flat out refused.

I settled in for the night. I had some very stimulating conversation with a friend and enjoyed myself immensely. I also got pretty toasted. At one point I decided I had to have a cigarette. Yes, I know it's a dirty habit but sometimes in life you just need a cigarette or better yet sex. I couldn't have sex so I opted for the cigarette. I do not smoke often so the cigarettes were in my car. I bundled myself up and went for it. To get to the cigarettes I needed my car keys. My house keys are on the same ring. This will important later. So I smoke my cigarette and go back in to continue my rousing conversation.

Many times during the night "The Boys" continued to call me to try and entice me to leave the house. They needed me to put a girl with "fuck me eyes" in her place. They needed me to make fun of the people at the dive bar. They even attempted to get me out by saying they were going to the Strip Club. "Jason" and "Jay" called from the strip club to tell me my girlfriend was working . I still didn't leave the house. I also progressed on to straight vodka at some point.

I finally fell asleep, drunk, yet unfulfilled (sex). I awoke around 5:00a.m. to four boys in my bed. This may be a dream come true for some girls but not for me. I was a bit baffled and a bit frightened. Had they broken a window to get into my house? "Jason" was screaming, "Bitch, fix us some scrambled eggs." I really was at a loss. After much cursing on my part and much laughter on their part, I finally realized I had left my keys on the front porch. Let's not even talk about how lucky I was that it was "The Boys" who found the keys. I finally got them calmed down, without fucking anyone or scrambling any eggs.

"The Boys" have spent most of the day today eating my food, drinking my beer, and not allowing me to nurse my vicious hangover. Everytime I almost fall asleep one of them comes in and says "Lola, entertain us". Like I am some circus clown here for their enjoyment. If only I hadn't drank so much. If only I hadn't craved that cigarette. If only I wasn't friends with douche bags who decide it's ok to drop by someone's house at 5 in the morning. Fucking vodka. Fucking cigarettes. Fucking boys. Damn all three to Hell. I've already been to Hell today.

Now we are snuggled up watching THE football game. They are never leaving.