Take It Off, Take It All Off

I visited a strip club tonight with "the boys". I'm one of those girls that has always been more comfortable around men. My best friends have always been guys. I was a tomboy when I was little. I once was the only girl at "Brothers Night" for a certain fraternity. Had a great time funneling too.

Tonight was the monthly visit to the peeler club. I do not go every month with these guys but I have gone before. I didn't have anything better to do tonight so I thought what the hell. The guys always buy the drinks. I don't have to pay to get in. There's decent music. And I get to see boys make complete asses out of themselves. Sounds like a winner to me.

I enjoy going to the strip club because I love to people watch. It amazes me the amount of money that men throw at these women. It's like they think they might actually get laid or something. I find it all quite amusing. You are paying for over priced drinks and watching women get naked that you never have a chance of touching in a million years. But hey, whatever gets you off.

I tip sometimes at the club. I have a few rules for tipping. I never use my own money. The girl must be attractive. There must be artistry in her dance. Gymnastic moves get extra bucks. Or if she has cool shoes. I'm a sucker for cool shoes. The guys I know usually tip the schoolgirls or the ones that take their panties off the fastest. Typical men.

Tonight something a little different took place. A guy I used to date for about 2 seconds bought me a lap dance. I've never had one of those before. He bought the private kind. You know where you go to the back of the club and sit on those couches that make you feel like you need a 4 hour bath. I refused the dance at first. I had no need for it. As I've stated before, I don't do girls. Just dick. The boys kept razzing me. Calling me chicken. You get the idea. I hate to feel like I've been dared to do something. I took 2 shots of tequila and found my way to the back of the club.

"Jason" had picked a dark haired girl to dance for us. I guess he knows about my Gina Gershon thing. We sat side by side while she danced. Let me tell you these girls work hard for their money. She did her damnedest to turn me on. She danced for me even though it was a couples gig. I think "Jason" felt a bit excluded. A bit cheated. She really was a pretty girl and she danced quite seductively. I could almost see why girls like girls. But that may have just been the tequila and the lack of sex talking to my brain.

Only one problem. I kept wanting to ask her questions. Did she have formal dance training? What about gymnastics? (She was quite flexible.) Were those her boobs or were they store bought? Did she like girls? Or guys? Was she turned off from sex because she basically made her living selling it? How did she ever get into stripping? The song was ending and "Jason" wanted to buy a 2 for one. I thanked my dancer and I got the hell out of there.

That's the difference between guys and girls. Girls think to much. I ruined a perfectly good lap dance by letting all those questions run through my head. I'm sure the only questions running through "Jason's" head were if he could get us to kiss or if he could end up getting laid somehow. Sometimes I wish I was a guy.