Sleep Perchance To Dream

I never sleep. This may be part of the reason I am insane. Sleep deprivation does shit to you. I've never been a good sleeper. Even when I was a little bitty tiny, I was a bad sleeper. It sucks ass not to be able to sleep.

When I was little I had to sleep in bed with someone. I would not get into bed unless my mom was right there with me. I slept almost underneath the person. I would jam myself right up next to whoever I was sleeping with. Once my brother flung me against the wall in his sleep because I was taking up so much room in the bed. It's quite possible I suffered brain damage.

I want to sleep. I crave sleep. I do several things to try and insure a good night's sleep. I don't drink caffeine after 11:00 a.m. I attempt to limit my alcohol intake. (OK sometimes I fail miserably with that one.) I exercise moderately. I've even been known to accept pharmaceutical help. None of this crap works.

Every night I get the room just the right cold temperature. I turn on the sounds of the ocean. I make sure Woe (my pillow) is always on the cool side. I tuck Mr. Bunny between my chin and my arm. And then I lay there. Thinking. And I don't sleep.

I think I may be to the breaking point. I'm almost at sleep deprivation psychosis. I'm gonna flip one day here soon. You'll read about it in the papers. You can tell people that you knew something was seriously wrong with me. It won't be like the people you see on the news saying the didn't know anything was wrong with their neighbor. You'll know the truth. I TOLD you there was something seriously wrong with me.

Of course, some people think I just need to get laid and all my problems would be solved. Dumb asses.