The Phone Call

He said to call at 9:00. I debated not calling at all. What was the point? This would never go anywhere. I lasted until 9:15. I had to dial the number three times because I was so nervous. He answered the phone in that self assured, cocky way of his. "This is ____________." I swear to God my heart leapt up in my throat. Butterflies invaded my stomach and I was pretty sure I was going to puke. His voice was perfect. Just deep enough and a little scratchy from the cold he had.

I ,of course, tried to play it cool. I made jokes. Laughed about myself. And I talked. Non stop. I'm sure he was wishing I would shut up. He made me feel comfortable. Like the old blanket I curl up with when I'm sad. I didn't really know him but yet I felt like talking to him was the most natural thing in the world. He made me feel special while still being just a bit of an asshole. If you know anything about me you know I dig assholes.

He thinks he knows me. Thinks he has me figured out. He might even think I love him. Such nonsense from a boy I barely know. He wants to know me. He wants to figure me out. He wants me to love him. I think I want to fuck him. I think about this while we talk. I can imagine his voice in my ear in between kisses to my neck. I think about his breath moving over my body. His light touch on my lips. My sharp intake of breath as he presses into me. I get turned on while we are talking about mundane things. I'm a sick person.

He tells me little about himself but makes it clear that love isn't an option for him. Love isn't an option for me either. I've forgotten how it works. All I remember is the pain. I don't want to play that game again. No thank you. He and I can be friends. Doesn't mean I might not still want to fuck him. FTF. Friends that fuck.

Our conversation lasted literally hours. We were comfortable with each other. We knew how to push each other's buttons. He knew the right things to say to piss me off and then what to say next to reel me back in. He tells me "I really like you." He says "Come to ________." I wonder if I should.