Drunk & F'ed Up

I like that song, Drunk & Fucked Up, by Ryan Adams. Pretty much sums me up right about now. OK so I'm not really drunk but I am fucked up. Mentally and emotionally. I'm going along. Minding my own business. La Tee Da. La Tee Da. (Picture me twirling in a ballerina skirt with a tiara on my pretty little head.) Being semi happy for a brief moment. I decide to check my email and lo and behold The Boy has emailed me. Out of the blue. I saw his name in the In Box and my stomach jumped in my throat. Seriously, I wanted to puke. I know you are thinking I should have deleted it. I know I was a stupid bitch for opening it. For reading it. But who out there would have been able to just delete it and still sleep at night. I have enough trouble sleeping already.

He emailed me to tell me that this makes him think of me. Especially This Is Where. I believe the words were that it couldn't be right for him to feel "so warm and comfortable" when he hears this album. It brings back the "visuals, smells, and feelings" that he lived not so long ago.
How about it's not so right for you to writing warm and fucking fuzzy emails to your ex girlfriend? How about you need to visualizing, smelling, and feeling your wife and kid. How about I'm REAL jacked up right now.

Oddly enough he told me to listen to Bloomed before he broke my heart the 2nd time. Him and his musical break-ups. Now tell me, please. Is there something wrong with a married man writing his ex girlfriend an email about a CD that reminds him of her? A CD he said he had to dig for in boxes he hadn't unpacked yet. A CD he made it seem that he had to go to some trouble to find. All so he could think of me. There's something wrong with that, right? Maybe not. Maybe I'm just psycho. I think he may possibly be one sick bastard. Again, I could be wrong. Oh and in case you were wondering, he hopes I'm doing great. Motherfucker!

I think a little Ryan Adams will help the mood. Or maybe not. Oh, screw it. Who am I kidding? I am a sad bitch for letting The Asshole get to me.


Six emails in the span of 24 hours. I do believe the bastard is trying to get to me. Or flirt with me. Or drive me even more insane than I already am. Just confirms to me that I really do fall for assholes. So if y'all know of any available assholes, send them my way.