I Am A Whiny Bitch

Let me give you an approximate run down of my summer work week schedule.

Monday 9:30m. - 12:00p.m. & 3:30p.m. - 7:30p.m.
Tuesday 3:00p.m. - 7:45p.m.
Wednesday 9:30m. - 12:00p.m. & 3:30p.m. - 7:30p.m.
Thursday 9:00a.m. - 12:00p.m. & 3:00p.m. - 7:30p.m.
Friday 9:00a.m. - 12:00p.m.

When I first got my schedule I was pissed because of the split shifts. Then I realized I could go lay out right in the middle of the day when the sun is at it's optimum for tanning. On the days that I have a split shift I go lay out by the pool in the middle of the day. On Tuesdays I get up and go lay out before having to be at work at 3:00. I may be tanorexic. I may need an intervention. But I sure look a lovely shade of golden brown.

Now I know it sounds like I have it made. Maybe I do. But during the months of August - May I work a shitload of hours. Summer is the time JFB gives us to refresh ourselves. I try to take full advantage of the refreshing part. Being in the sunshine makes me happy. It lifts my spirits.

Today I woke up in a terrible mood. I mean a "don't speak to me or I'll cut you" mood. Listening to Ryan Adams on the way to work I bawled my eyes out. I was driving down the interstate crying, snot running down my face, singing off key, and trying to smoke a cigarette. These days, I usually only smoke when I drink. Really. But whatever the fuck was wrong with me forced me to stop and buy a pack of cigarettes. (I usually bum smokes.) I walked into work and everyone just steered clear of me. Very smart people I work with.

We usually alternate between 3 different houses that are close to work to swim at during the work week. At noon, JFB asked if I was coming over to swim. I said, "No." "Tiffany" asked if I was coming over to her house to swim. I declined. "Mary" said, "Well then you are coming to my house right?" I again declined. Everyone wanted to know if I had something I just had to go do. I said I needed me time.

JFB took me aside and wanted to know what was wrong. I started crying. Again. I told him I was just sad. I couldn't explain what was wrong. All I could say was something was wrong. He said, Why don't you just take the rest of the day off"? I said "A mental health day will do me good". Now let's remember I only worked 2 1/2 hours before I was told I had a hard day. I came home and climbed in bed and have listened to sad ass music the rest of the day in the dark with only the glow of the computer. I'm still not sure what is wrong with me. I do know I feel like a whiny ass bitch.