Jost Van Dyke

Back to the trip stories...

This was my favorite place of the whole trip. I want to go live here. I'm thinking of running away from home and setting up permanent residence on Jost Van Dyke. I might miss certain people or maybe just a certain someone though. What a fucking dilemma.

I totally recommend the Painkiller at Soggy Dollar Bar at White Bay. Yummy. So very, very yummy. I also recommend going to Foxy's. Good times. We met lots of boat boys. They were very cute but all of them were missing something. I guess I'm just very picky. I just wanted to lie on the beach, soak up the sun, and not have to be charming. Charming is hard work for me. Bitchy is something I'm great at.

We did end up going out to look at one guy's boat. It was incredible. He and his friends had been sailing on it for a month. They had a chef. Nice life but I wouldn't want to live it all the time. We drank more Painkillers. We ate some shrimp. The boys tried to get friendly. I asked to go back to the beach. I know, something is fucking wrong with me. Cute boys, a boat, a chef, lots of alcohol and I just wanted to lie on the beach. Ridiculous!

Funny thing is, I fell off the dingy on the way back to shore. I wasn't totally trashed but I was pretty damn close. I was having an argument about manscaping. One guy said it was just polite to manscape. I said he did it to make his dick look bigger. Then he asked if the only reason girls went bald was to make their pussies look bigger. Pretty damn good comeback. I went into a long explanation of why I felt the way I did. I stood up and gestured wildly. Oddly enough, I fell right off the boat.

Go ahead and laugh. I did.