It's Been SUPER Hearing From You

I don't know if this goes under BITTER or under BAGGAGE but I hope this makes the ManWhore happy.

"Hey you! I tried to call you for a week. I thought you might be dead."

"Wishful thinking I'm sure. Why didn't you just leave a message?"

"I figured you wouldn't call back."

"Hmmm, maybe that should tell you something."

"Where ya been?"

"On vacation."

"To the beach?"

"I spent a couple of days in Puerto Rico then went on to St. Thomas, St. John and the BVI's."

"Who did you go with?"

"Someone I love." (Yes, bitchy and vague on purpose. Screw it if he thinks it's a guy.)

"OH HO! Does your mom like this person?"

"Yep."

"Vacationing together? You must like them a lot."

"As a matter of fact, I do. Now, did you need something?"

"I found your {Obscure Band} CD. The one that's out of print. You said I had it. You were right."

"Of course I was right."

"Give me your new address. I'll mail it to you."

"I already got a new one from 'Peter's' brother but thanks so much."

"You still talk to 'Peter'?"

"Why wouldn't I still talk to 'Peter'? Listen it has been SUPER hearing from you but I have to go wash my hair."

"Third or fourth shower of the day? It can wait. I want to catch up. We haven't talked in a while."

"I'm sure your wife would love to have you catch up with me. Maybe she can get on the extension. I'd love to chat with her."

"Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time?"

"It's just an amazing part of my stunning personality. Aren't you glad you married someone else?"

Silence

"Really, I have to wash my hair. See ya."