LIAR

As I am about to embark on a night of drunken debauchery, I caught myself thinking about the lies that are told in bars and clubs. I am reminded of a simple lie that The Boy told should have been a warning to me. Girls in love are so stupid. So are drunk ones. Wish me luck on keeping my wits about me because I'm one third of the way to getting a good drunk on already. I'm also dressed to show off my "assets". I should hear some good lies tonight.

One afternoon I asked The Boy what he was doing on Saturday night. No pressure, just a simple question. A bunch of us were going to hear a band that I thought he might enjoy but it wasn't a deal breaker if he didn't go. He said, "My parents are coming to visit." Now we had only been dating about a month so I didn't expect to meet his parents and probably would have been freaked out if he had suggested it. I told him to call me after they left.

About 8 months later The Boy got really drunk and called me at work. He was talking crazy. Talking about quitting his job and leaving town. I left work and went straight to his house. He lived in a gated apartment complex. When I got there he wouldn't buzz me in. Crazy bitch that I am, I climbed the fence and walked the two blocks to his unit. Once I barged in the house, I found a very drunk Boy. He was so drunk I didn't know how to deal with him. He insisted on calling his dad. I tried to explain that it would be a very bad idea to call his dad but he wouldn't listen to me.

He told his dad he was quitting his job. He spewed some other bullshit about driving to the airport, flying to Puerto Rico. I was screaming at him in the background that he was going anywhere in the condition he was in. His father asked to speak to me. After a ten minute argument, The Boy finally gave me the phone. I explained the situation as best I could to Boy's Father. Somewhere in the midst of the conversation I was telling him about having to climb the fence to get to his son. He said "What fence?" I said, "You know the one at the front of the complex." He said, "Lola, I don't know how far you are talking about walking. I've never been to Boy's house." Needless to say I was stunned.

I took care of The Boy for the rest of the night. I never said word about what his father said. I held his head while he puked. I cleaned up the puke on the floor. I stayed up all night to make sure he kept breathing. (He was really drunk.) A few days after the incident I casually asked him if he took his parents to a certain famous restaurant when they were in town. He said he had. I then explained it was pretty fucking hard to take people who had never been to {City Withheld} to a restaurant. He just sat there.

Finally he said he had told me the lie because he didn't want to tell me that he didn't want to go out with my friends that weekend. I explained it was a stupid lie and if he would lie about little things then I wanted to know what big things had he lied about. It was the beginning of our first break-up. Yeah, yeah I took him back. Several times. What can say? I was in love. I was stupid. But let me tell you, I hate liars. I've stopped dating plenty of people over little lies. The Boy taught me that I was right...If you lie about something little then you will lie about something big. I hate liars. Lying is a dealbreaker.